Letting my life speak

Since my day consisted of sleeping in, watching approximately 5 hours of college basketball, getting my oil changed, and watching SNL; I will instead make up an amazing tale of valor and grandeur.

“On your feet,” barked the security guard. I didn’t have time to speculate as to how he got into my room since I was to busy throwing on flannel tee-shirt which I had carelessly tossed on the floor the previous night.

I inquisitively asked Bruce, what exactly he wanted. In a bunch of words that I have not the desire or the time to retell, he explained that the music center was on fire and that I was the only one who could save it.

I couldn’t believe it. The Music Center, the tallest building in Goshen, and the central pivot for Mennonite youth and elderly alike was under attack by terrorist.

As if he was reading my thoughts, Bruce said that we didn’t have any actual proof that terrorists were behind the fire. I told him to get some thicker glasses and to wake up and smell the coffee which was ironically growing mold in our kitchen because the coffee had neither been consumed nor dumped from the coffee pot which contained it for quite some time.

Bruce just smiled with his goofy grin. We both looked at each other awkwardly since neither of us knew what to say. After a moment of silence Bruce said, “Okay, well behave yourself.”

I knew had to go save the building despite our checkered past. The music building and I hadn’t spoken since the day music building stole my best girl. I fought through the human emotions that just might jeopardize everything.

As I got closer to the building I could see the flames. Luckily it had snowed three feet during the night. Quickly built the best snow fort ever and started hurling snowballs at the flames. It wasn’t long before the flames subsided.

Grudge Core emerged from the building and explained that they had been rocking so hard that their drummer had burst into flames and started the building on fire. Then Mayor Allan Kauffman stopped by and gave me the most sacred award he is authorized to give which is of course a kitten.

I smiled only for a moment before I looked over and saw Grunge Core looking gloomy. They were asking each other, how they were going to win first prize at the music contest without a first rate drummer? I wished I could help them but my musical talent was too great to be wasted in the back of the stage where the drummer is traditionally positioned. Just then I heard a bitching drum solo. I turned around to see the kitten rocking out on a fully assembled drum set which inexplicably was already setup. A huge dance party broke out and everyone agreed it was a happy holiday after all.